7 Signs to Spot a Person who is Passive Aggressive

In our society, there is a lot of generalization or generalized characterization. Therefore, when we meet a person with a slightly more extraordinary behavior, we term them as “aggressive”. However, this terminology has various connotations. This is exactly where the term, “passive-aggressive” comes in.

Passive-aggressive behavior is very different from the ordinary clutches of aggression. It includes a different set of behavior and signs. It has a different way of management skills.

Although, it might take time for people to spot a person with passive aggression, here are seven signs that can help you understand them better.

Who is an Exact Passive-Aggressive Person?

Passive aggressors are people who do not show direct aggressive behavior but indirectly present all signs of it.

They might show signs of procrastination, stubbornness, and resistance towards other or even their family members. A sudden amount of dullness and sullenness might surround them always. Blaming others for their own fall-outs and consistent rude behavior is always present around them.

1.Procrastination and not doing any Complete Work

Passive aggressors are masters of leaving things undone. Be it deciding to wash the utensils, but not getting up to do it. Or, cleaning their rooms with half of the things lying on the floor, they seem to do it all.

This behavior of theirs, where after a point of procrastination, when they make their minds to do something, but do not do, becomes extremely irritating. It gets on the nerves of the people who are living with them. Even after repeated reminders, the ones with passive aggression do not seem to do their jobs fully.

Therefore, the people living with them tend to do it themselves rather than reminding these procrastinating people. It might seem at first that these people just laze around and are inherently lazy. However,  even after making up a mind, they cannot get themselves to do it.

This is one clear indication of passive aggression.

2. Being Hostile towards Others

A person with a normal sense of other’s feelings will never be out-rightly rude to others. However, with a person having passive aggression, the same cannot be said. Either they tend to portray inherent signs of competitiveness. Or, they just do not like the idea of gelling up with others.

For instance, when any random person will compliment another person, they will compliment them without any line of comparison. “Oh, your hair looks so nice today!”

However, when a person with passive aggression will tell the same thing, they will go as, “Oh! Your hair looks nice today, at least better than what they look every day.”

Although, it might not be their actual intention to hurt you. But, they do it indirectly by being extremely hostile towards random people. Always drawing a parallel line of comparison with themselves, that might not go down well with others.

3. Signs of Insensitivity

A passive-aggressive person is on the extreme ends of straightforward and mean. They lack to create the negative difference between being insensitive and harshly mean.

For suppose, they always start with the clauses like, ‘I don’t want to sound judgmental, but…..’ or, they can also go about, ‘Not to sound harsh, but….’ The minute they take this long pause, you must get it in your mind that the next thing that is going to come out of their mouth is extremely impractical and rude.

Although, they do give an earlier disclosure of them being not so nice about their coming words. But, this does not work well with every person. People tend to hate them to their cores for saying such insensitive and heart-stinging things. Therefore, they in turn get judged by people for showing such high signs of insensitivity. These are also signs of indirectly insulting/humiliating someone.

This trait does have an interlinked connection with the above-mentioned trait of being hostile towards others.

4. Denial of Anger

While a passive-aggressive person may show signs of outward anger and dissatisfaction, however, when you ask them so, they will completely deny it.

A passive-aggressive person does not like to accept the fact that he/she is angry over something or the other verbally. However, when you see their actions and emotions from an outward perspective, it will be inevitable that they are mad about something or the other.

This action may come in the form of blaming others for no fault of theirs. Or, in the form of yelling at others for no immediate reason. Consequently, all of this accompanied by a constant denial of the said mood or emotion.

5. Outside cooperative, but inside non-cooperative

When you request a passive-aggressive person for some work, in front of you, they will easily comply with it. However, on the inside, they will not be ready to do anything for you.

They might intentionally delay your work of request so that ultimately the plan of action is dropped. Or, they will do the work according to the below-average standards. For example, if you ask them to write something for you, they will write it in such a brooding way, that you would finally regret them asking to do so.

This might come off as an extensively manipulative behavior on their part. Henceforth, passive-aggressive people are also termed as ‘brooding’ or ‘quietly manipulative’.

6. Silence all over

Passive aggressors have their silent game extremely good. The way they will give one a silent treatment over something they are upset about, will in turn provoke a person to their fits.

Generally, a person who is angry over something from someone will want to talk it out and clear it. However, a passive-aggressive person will walk miles away from talking to clear everything. They will instead give a super silent reaction to show they are upset.

On one hand, a portrayal of the fact that they are upset and on the other hand, trying to show that nothing has happened to them. A typical passive-aggressive behavior.

7. Irritable Behavior and Excuses

The most irrational behavior showcased by a passive-aggressive person is irritability and excuses. To not do a particular work, they make innumerable un-plausible excuses around it. This triggers the person assigning the work to such an extent that they start getting frustrated with the passive aggressors.

Although this making of excuse and delaying of work might still be digestible, their reactions of irritability to reminders often work as further anger triggers. Even when somebody tells them to do a certain work, they show signs of getting irritated. This not only makes them the bad guy but also puts the one assigning the job in a fix.

Conclusion

All these above-mentioned signs help one to identify a passive-aggressive person. Many a time, we overlook a person’s behavior by going through the notion that this might just be their habit. However, this is not the truth.

When a person repeatedly shows such signs of inherent anger, irritation, silence, frustration etcetera, one must easily recognize that they are dealing with a passive-aggressive person. This state of passive aggression might be shown in a child, a partner, or a parent. There is no hard and fast rule about a particular person showing particular signs.

Anybody around you can be a passive aggressor, you just need the right eye to recognize and a loving heart to help them come out of the tough phase.

For more articles, click here: Journaling 101: Your Guide to Self-Discovery.

SOURCES:

1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/202008/6-telltale-signs-passive-aggressive-behavior

2. https://time.com/4916056/passive-aggressive-definition-meaning/