Are you thinking of signing up on an online dating site to find the true love missing from your life? If you say yes, we might have something worth a read for you. New generations have been adapting faster than ever before, trends change every day and we feel obliged to try out every new thing our peers have been indulging in. In the same way, we keep wondering if we should try out online dating too. Yes, online dating is convenient and fun but there might be some things you need to know before stepping into the online romance world. One such thing is what is called ‘Ghosting’. Let us take a look at what that means.
I Have No Idea What You Talking About
That is what we are here for! Ghosting might be a ghost word for you, but we promise, it will not be after a while. It happens when someone you have been talking to stops replying to your calls, texts, and any sort of communication you established before. It is different from late replies and blocking and you will know-how. The person in question cuts off any contact. It usually takes place without any explanations, warning, or prior notice. In other words, you can say it is the short, quick and modern way of breaking up.
You would say it is harsh, insensitive, and cruel because everybody deserves an explanation. And we completely agree! Being online does not help establish the usual connection with people that generally do get in place when we meet people in real life. That reduces the sensitivity towards others’ feelings and we hesitate less. That is what helps make ghosting easier for some people who believe that explaining makes things tedious and leaving whenever they want appears like a much better option to them.
People like these get inspired by sentences like “What are you worried about? You can always ghost them”. And like the new generation, we are said to be, we get super influenced by the mindsets of our peers more than our own. “My friends challenged me to text them and when I protested, they convinced me by telling me to ghost them if anything goes wrong.” Is that something you have heard before? People use this as an excuse to get out of situations where they are accused of unreasonably texting people on online dating sites. It is beginning to become the new normal.
Why does this happen? Will it happen to me too?
The human psychology working behind this might reveal some reasons as to why ‘ghosting’ might be becoming popular. Let us look at some of the most common reasons behind this:
- As mentioned before, people might indulge in ghosting behavior to avoid having to explain themselves and their choices. They might be driven by egoistic thinking or a superiority complex.
- Some people also use this as a tool to ‘have some fun. Interrupting the peaceful lives of people they want to have nothing to do with, is their idea of fun.
- People resort to ghosting when they start to feel like things are getting a little too serious than they expected or than they think they can handle.
- However much you are fun to be around, polite and likable, not everyone is going to like you or match your energy. Some people might find it difficult for them to say “You are a great person but I am sorry I don’t think we would make the perfect couple.” This makes them go for the easier option, yes, you are right, ghosting.
- The fun they wanted to have seems like getting out of control and thus- “let our ghost!”
The unseen factors at work
- People who have faced adversities in life look towards how to avoid the consequences of their actions and ghosting provides them just that.
- Some people need to boost their self-esteem every once in a while and running out of ways to do that, they realize that ghosting does them enough good. They think that creating illusions for others and then destroying them makes up for the loss of their self-confidence.
- The people who the ghost might be feeling insecure about themselves, not being able to believe that someone actually wants to talk to them. Giving in to all the insecurities, self-doubt, and social anxiety, they resort to ghosting.
- People who use ghosting might have experienced that way of treatment in life. In addition to that, that might be the behavior they have seen around them while growing up and they just don’t happen to know other kind ways of treating fellow beings.
- People might use ghosting as a way of revenge towards a particular person due to past unfortunate events.
These are just a few of the possible reasons why people use ghosting among which, none of them say that it was your fault. Refrain from blaming yourself for something which totally does not have anything to do with you. You need to keep in mind that you do not get ghosted in a few hours or a day. Avoid overthinking about someone you have just met and know almost nothing about. It is important to understand that everybody needs time for things going on in their own lives or some might need time to just get ready to talk. Everyone might not have the energy or they might be struggling with something serious. Always give them time and consider possibilities other than they do not like you or you messed up. Give yourself time before you judge them and decide what is going to be your destiny with them.
Can ghosting be right in some situations?
While looking for a match online, we know nothing about the person except what they write in their bios, which might not always be true. However, you know every human being you come across will neither be an angel nor a devil. You might click with someone the same day you start texting, while some might just not suit your ‘type’. Also you might like the way you interact with them or you might not. You may like how they behave or treat you. But that might not always be the case.
When you find yourself feeling uncomfortable with what they talk about, how they talk about it, or how they react towards things, you should not be lying in bed worried about hurting their feelings. Do not put up with the behavior you find inappropriate or repeated mistakes even after you pointed them out. If you believe they deserve an explanation, it might be better to let them know instead of ghosting. However, if you feel that they do not really appreciate criticism or they might get abusive, it is safe to consider ghosting as an option.
When to block and when to ghost?
While dating online, you are using the god of inventions: the internet. The Internet lets you choose from the countless options it has to serve. Blocking is just another one of them. You decide when you want to block and when you want to go for the less harsh option: ghosting. Don’t know how? We’ll help you.
Ghosting is generally for when you do not think it is a great match or things are moving too fast or too slow. These things can be sorted out if you wish, but you may not always want to put your energy into that. You use ghosting in these situations. Nevertheless, in instances when your partner gets abusive, crosses lines, fails to respect your boundaries, or makes improper comments or gestures, you know ghosting is not enough. Moreover, even if you do ghost them out of politeness, they keep pestering you over and over. Your gut should send a message that blocking is the right thing to do. In simpler words, never hesitate to block when they start harassing you. Load yourself with information that will help you know when to ghost and when to block.
It’s a simple journey, just with tough decisions
Use the blessing given to you, that is, online dating websites, to find new, interesting people out there waiting to find some themselves. But always use your brain, your gut, and your very beautiful heart to know who they really are. Dating can be beautiful, but since it involves your body, mind, feelings, and, most importantly, your time, better be safe than sorry! Also read: How To Have The Perfect Virtual Date?
