‘Books are a uniquely portable magic.’ When people look for some sort of guidance in their lives, a good and healthy book can always come to their rescue. However, reading a book is like a journey, once you start walking on it, there is no turning back.
Often, when couples go through some or other problems, society gives them only two sets of advice. Either go to a couple’s therapist or read a therapy book together to understand the problem between them better. To get an insight into what is not working out the right way and how to put an end to the current troubles and start afresh.
There are plenty of authors and psychologists who write down relationship guidelines. It works as a guide rule for them to follow. Many a time, it has been observed that couples’ situation has gotten better after going through these books.
Let us give a brief look at a few of those books. Go about their special characteristics and inherent follow-ups.
1. Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
This book authored by the psychologist, John Gottam and his wife, Julie Gottam serves as a practical choice for people in a committed relationship. They both are also the founders of the Gottam Method of Healthy Relationship. It is a type of couples’ therapy, based on Gottam’s extensive research in the said field for 40 years.
Not going by its name, it is not only succumbed to couples engaged in the institution of marriage. It can also work as a helping hand for those who are extremely serious about one another in a relationship. It is said that the book portrays an enriched version of positive factors that work in a relationship, after sidelining the negative ones.
Gottam has studied the habits of couples in marriage throughout his years of research. Henceforth, he has written down the seven principles for making a relationship work, with fondness and admiration being the primary factors.
For anyone who wants to bring out the best in their relationship, and take their relationship to the best possible level, this book can serve as a perfect enhancer for it.
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and how it can help you Find-and Keep-love is written by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F Heller. It comes under the categories of self-help books, relationship enhancers, and self-reflection.
It extensively talks about a person’s attachment styles. Different people have diverse attachment styles that can have a positive or negative impact on their relationship with their special ones. The various attachment styles listed in the book are-
It narrates difficulty in feeling secure in a relationship and attaining security about your partner’s feelings for you.
A feeling where you push your loved ones away with the fear of getting too attached or your independence going away.
In this kind of attachment, you easily get comfortable with the intimacy part of a relationship. But, you have a hard time getting an emotional connection with someone.
Therefore, this book helps one to recognize their attachment styles, and how to deal with the same if it comes in between a healthy relationship. By making you understand your attachment styles, it enables you to self-introspect. This in turn allows one to make stronger and healthy bonds in the future.
3. Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Written by Dr. Sue Johnson, this book presents Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to couples. This was the very first time that something of this sort was provided to couples. It is a kind of therapy that emphasizes and works on people’s attachment styles and bonds.
This book by Johnson is said to be extremely useful for couples having a high conflict attitude. Specifically, the ones going through a very rough time in their relationship.
Dr. Johnson showcases seven healing conversations in a relationship with certain ‘touchpoints’ in it. This book also has a collection of best reviews by NYT and Times Magazine.
4. Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
Once again, authored by Dr. Sue Johnson, ‘Love Sense’ remains the absolute favorite of therapists and psychologists all around the globe.
In this particular piece, Johnson talks about the three stages of love and relationship. This pertinently includes the intelligence of love, the logic of love, and the psychological benefits of a secure relationship.
Dr. Sue Johnson in her book tries to amplify the fact that any love bond is a bond of attachment. It is just a replica of a mother-and-child relationship. It encourages us to develop our “love sense”, for an everlasting, long and fruitful relationship.
In the words of Dr. Solomon, “This book blends research findings, clinical wisdom, and application to help you lean into all of what it takes to love and be loved.”
5. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
This book, by Gary Chapman, is a step-by-step illustrated manual of having a long-lasting and loving relationship. This book emphasizes more the fact that every person’s way of expressing love is different. There is no correct/right way of portrayal of love.
It talks about the “five love languages” in a relationship. These include affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. The book perpetually revolves around these love languages and helps one to figure out their partner’s best love language.
Henceforth, the knowledge and understanding of the love language will not only guarantee better communication, but also a better-committed future with your partner.
6. Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
One of couple and marriage therapists’ most recommended, this book invokes the importance of space in a relationship. Authored by Esther Perel, this book gives a close analysis between domesticity and sexual desire in a relationship.
It intends to create a line of difference between one’s thirst for love life and chasing up passion. Moreover, Esther presents a very bold, straightforward, and erotic viewpoint on sexual desire and evident intimacy in a relationship.
The book contains all the flavors of love, lust, desire, and passion. Sensational and controversial as it may sound, this book will change your perception of love and your ways of love.
With all these books, striking to change essential chords in couples’ love lives, it is surprising to see people come out and talk about their apparent “secretive” problems. Couples wanting to go ahead and give these books a read have thoroughly changed the world’s perspective about looking at these books.
They are no more just preachy, self-help books that call for people’s unsolicited opinions. Therefore, they now belong to the category of books that calls for therapy if needed. Also, it changes the way people think of couples and their problems, and understand the fact that a relationship is not just another cakewalk.
Just like any other thing in this world, a relationship requires warmth, love, nurturing, and care. It requires plenty of effort to sustain a happy and healthy relationship. Therefore, these books prove out to be a helping hand for the same.